So, someone I considered a friend, recently decided to pick up the old rivalry of the War of Northern Aggression and trash on my people.  Kirk thinks that Southerners hate Christmas because we do not enjoy the disruption of snow.

First, let me thank Kirk for recognizing that Southerners are harder workers than those snow-loving yankees (e.g., “Southerners on the other hand are working hard.  They are studying hard.”).  Here is evidence of lazy yankees:

Second, remember, Snow kills people:

Third, we Southerners like some snow around Christmas, but we don’t want that stuff all the stinking time.  All things in moderation people!  It’s the same deal with boiled custard: wonderful from November – December, but no one wants it for six months at a time.

Fourth, what does snow without Christmas make me think of…the White Witch (For Aslan!)

In conclusion, Southerners love Christmas.  I love Christmas a whole lot.  I like snow in moderation too.  Who doesn’t love a great Chemex of coffee on a cold winter’s night while listening the the Tran-Siberian Orchestra (or a nice beverage from a home espresso machine whilst listening to Vivaldi’s Gloria if you are more cultured and wealthy)?  I love Christmas and I like snow, but I’ll take a Tennessee Christmas over any yankee winter.

Related Articles

Advertisements